Follow Through

eto na

2010-06-14T01:19:00.001-07:00

hindi na lang ako magsasalita. nakakahiya naman sayo.

56

2010-06-14T00:29:00.000-07:00

this'll be the first.

given, not all relationships fare smoothly. there's bound to be a rocky path along the way, it depends on the both of you if you have the means to weather it or not.

and fck, i'll be ranting. you don't understand me.
why is to so difficult to point out that not because you're talking to someone, you're entertaining him already?
considering that the word "entertaining" is entirely subjective, we happen to have different perceptions. this is getting out of hand. and i admit, i'm perplexed. just because of a conservation that doesn't involve any sweet and cheesy shit, but just a usual conversation wherein two people share something about what's going on in there lives lately is actually considered conceited. You should've told me off the bat that "do not talk to those who show interest, not even a single look. or else"

in the first place, you didn't tell me that i'm not supposed to talk to him. and i guess i stressed it quite well that i wasn't flirting with him, or anyone for that matter.

the way i look at it now, it doesn't come out as a surprise that people always view me as the fcking antagonist. hey you're just loving me, right? and i'm the insensitive bitch who talks to those who like me albeit you loathe it.

tsk, ever the ruthless bitch. putang ina talaga. oo na, kasalanan ko na.

46

2010-05-26T11:10:00.000-07:00

*breathe in. breathe out*

Transient. Momentary. Fleeting.
I need to think things through, without opening my mouth.
I need to ponder and analyze a lot of things, with my thoughts in my brain, not words in my tongue.

Fuck.

92

2010-05-26T11:07:00.000-07:00

Your madness breaks my heart- as your mind stirs
to the whirling of my soul,
I wish I could hurl all your troubles with a wave of
a wand;

The tip of my finger pressed to thine lips,
to mum the evil that depresses you;

the sound of each breaking tissue,
contained, to soothe you.

I am unwilling to cut coils of my own despair,
lest it implies peace in your core.

Goodbye, Life

2010-05-20T03:27:00.001-07:00

I have long been compromised,
even before the end was bleak.

You’ve dragged me to horizons,
hung me at verticals.
I, with a smile.

You whispered it was for the greens,
as my feet played rhythms of my own desire.
I did not contest, for all had been fine.

You say I’m lost and out of focus,
you deemed the future vague.
You’ve let me down from whence I hung,
cut the cord in between the skyline.

You say you did not know,
but I’ve been telling you all this time.
No whispers, no cries- just a deep sigh.

You thought it hopeless.

You retorted that the greens had gone brown,
as I blew away with the melody.
You say the tides shall not turn,
because I let my mind play such sweet symphonies.

You continued.

“The sun will set no more, for it has burnt in its own light.
No matter how eager you step out of the door, you’ll never reach your flight.”

We’re pulling at both ends of the string now.

But I did not want to drag you on, nor let you loose.
You say, you to me- as you freed your grip.
I pulled and tumbled.

You said it cannot be,
A beat can never collide with taciturnity.
Your words were deafening.

You’ve let me go,
and I cannot contest.

I'll kill you someday

2010-04-01T03:47:00.000-07:00

I have always had a penchant for getting rid of things, but I never really had the bluster to execute my well-crafted plans. No matter how much I want to shape up, straighten out and be the best damn person that I could be, I can't.

Fuck you :(

No Title. Boo.

2010-01-07T10:15:00.000-08:00

To ten million fireflies, I'm weird cause I hate goodbyes.
I got misty eyes as they said farewell.

I have been playing this song for almost 15 consecutive times already, it's ambiance is so serene and captivating. I love Owl City <3

Well as you may have guessed, this entry is another one of my usual rants. I am probably a closet emo of some sort, because of my tendency to be moody and being emotionally unstable, I have all sorts of emotions locked up inside me. Pathetic, I know. Sometimes I wish I really am dense as others think of me. Sometimes I wish I just don't care and I can easily block the negativities I would like to get rid of.

I am actually fond of doing that and unlike other people, I can actually succeed. But like what I read from one of my brothers' Magic: TCG' flavor text:
"Memories cut from the mind can cut right back."

Even if I manage to disregard it today, as inevitable as it is, I'd remember it someday. And all the emotions would come back rushing. Pathetic. Sadly, this is not one of those posts in which I'd feel better for letting it out afterwards. I'd still be disturbed, I'd still be bothered. Because I know that after I hit the "Publish Post" button, things would still be the same.

Humbug~

2009-12-23T02:03:00.000-08:00

It's sad to see that this blogsite has become a venue for inhibited thoughts and repressed feelings. But then again, that was the primary purpose as to why this parcel was formed.

It's the 23rd! :) Two days before the big day, the supposed highlight of the year- when people should be happy for no apparent reason. It's the time of the year when these two wonderful words come alive without bashing - "Just Because".

And until now, I feel no spark of the season. :(

Fall from Grace

2009-12-09T04:54:00.000-08:00

I need this phase to finish - fast. I don't like it. I don't know why I allowed it to happen. I hate this feeling; when one is confined in a situation where emotions are unstable, where conflict may arise in any given time.

I wish to vent to all my heart's desire, but I am taken aback by the possibilities of other people reading this post. Albeit there aren't much who are aware of the owner of this blog site, I still have silly inhibitions of letting out this fcking feeling.

What would you do. . .

2009-11-16T00:23:00.000-08:00

. . . if the person you've trusted and loved has actually been a lie from the very beginning?

Okay I won't jump into conclusions yet, not unless I talk to him. But I don't think that's possible, and assuming the worst case scenario (that he, indeed lied to my face for almost two years) won't hurt either. I don't have any grudges, nor does murderous thoughts dwell in my mind. I just wanted to talk, I just want to know why you did that and why you didn't tell me.

I know its mostly my fault, I allowed for such things to happen without even thinking twice. I don't regret anything, and looking back on the events that had transpired- i can't help but laugh if that really is the case :)) I had fun, no doubt. And I know that even if you did or didn't lie, a thing won't change between us. It's already over anyway. But I still feel that you owe me an explanation. Its easy if everything would just fit in the puzzle, then assuming wouldn't be a trouble. The sad thing is, all i have is a name, memories and speculations. All i can do is put a piece here and there, but at the end of the day, all of it doesn't really fit together. Sadly, I can't use a glue, jam it in the board and force myself to believe that it really is that way. Because I think that I'm duping myself too much if I let this go on, I think its time for truths now. And I can't grab truths from the pond, I need to hear them from you.

So please, enlighten me . :))

A Blog Post

2009-11-09T01:54:00.000-08:00

Yehess~ This is my first post for this semester. Weird as it may be, I tend to blog a lot during weeks of stress and anxiety. Seeing as life had been great to me for the previous weeks, I forgot to update my small parcel of the vast virtual universe. But for motivation's sake- here i am~ trying to write whatever it is that pops out of my feeble mind.

Currently Reading: Nightmares and Dreamscapes by Stephen King
Currently Watching: Soul Eater Season 2
LSS: Out of my League
Craving for: Champorado
Attended: Level Up! Live (November 7, 2009 @ World Trade Center) and Anime Overload Festival (November 8, 2009 @ SMX Convention Center)
Working on: A LOT OF SHIT :D

It's the second week of what is supposedly my last semester in college. School load hasn't clinged on to me like a fat panda bear yet, but extra-curriculars are bombarding me like crazy. Talk about deadlines, blessed is the day that I stop procrastinating.

So for the following months, I promise that I will try to be responsible not only in school and at work, but also at home and to myself. I'll try to stop harassing myself [that didn't sound right :))] because medicine is expensive D:

Okay~ I ran out of things to say. HAHA. See i'm not as talkative as others presume D: It just so happens that circumstances allow me to say everything that's on my mind on instances when my mind is filled with all these crazy notions. Or maybe, I just ran out of things to say because I already ranted at someone's face awhile ago :3

OH YEAH! I hate people who try so hard to be leftists who can't even prove their damn point, nor construct paragraphs with proper grammar. SHUT UP YOU FOOLS~ :D HAHA.

Im'ma go nao because my mind is going topsy turvy and i've nothing to say :3
chow!

PJ :)

2009-10-16T04:36:00.000-07:00

What's with a park?

Eto na lang ung naiwan kong memory ng PhotoJourn class ko this sem, aside sa mga rolls of film sa drawer ko =))

The seventh part of the life formula, the Sequence:
SUBJECT: Luneta

2009-09-24T06:47:00.000-07:00

it really doesn't matter what i feel.
i give up.
it doesn't make sense anymore.
i'm tired of this vicious cycle.
i'm tired of trying.
i'm tired of waiting.
i'm tired of being someone that i want to be,
someone who could never be me.

I'm going home :)

chill :D

2009-09-21T05:57:00.000-07:00

Time out muna. Mula sa tambak na school work, naiwang trabaho at sakit sa katawan.

Oye, though I was able to sleep for more than 6 hours today, it still wasn't enough cause I wake up every hour
since 6AM, trying to get up and continue working on our thesis. Kaso 10AM na ko nakabangon, parang sinayang ko lang ung apat na oras kasi hindi rin naman ako nakatulog ng maayos.

9PM na. Atlast, natapos din sa thesis. May naiwan pang isang pahirap na kailangan din ipasa bukas. Bakit ba kasi naging proponent pa ko -.-" dagdag trabaho tuloy. Haha okay wala ko karapatang umangal. Err o.o maya maya na yun, kailangan ko ata muna mag unwind. Pero weird kasi PC parin kaharap ko. Naka apat na bote na ata ako ng isang litrong coke ngayong araw, at iinom pa ko. I need sugar. I need caffeine.

So ayun. How do you know na hindi mo na mahal ang isang tao? (sabay ganun eh no)
Dahil ba hindi mo na siya araw araw kausap, hindi mo na siya (gaano) naiisip at 'di katulad dati, hindi mo nami-miss ang mga message niya at tinatamad ka ng makipag usap sakanya.
Dahil ba ngayon tanggap mo nang wala siyang kwentang kausap dahil kahit gaano kahaba ang text mo ay irereply niya lang sayo "okay :))" and things like that?
Dahil ba hindi tulad noon, hindi mo na naiisip na magkikita din kayong dalawa sa hinaharap upang maiayos ang lahat?
Dahil ba totoong hindi ka na umaasang babalik siya at wala ka na rin balak pang makipag balikan kasi wala naman talagang patutunguhan?
Dahil ba hindi ka na nalulungkot na hindi mo na boyfriend yung crush mo dati?
Dahil ba nagagamit mo na ang mga binigay niya ng hindi nag se-senti?
Dahil ba pag nakikita mo ang picture niya ngayon, hindi ka napapa isip na sana hindi ka na lang nakipag break?
Dahil ba kaya mo ng magshare sakanya ng mga bagay na maaaring magpahiwatig na wala kayong pag asa, di katulad ng dati na hindi nag bago ang pag trato mo sakanya?

Kung ganun nga, edi okay. If not, I guess I won't know for sure until I see him personally. Which I doubt na mangyayari kasi ayoko na din siyang makita, kumpara dati na i exerted so much just to see him. Kasi sa palagay ko kahit mag kita kami, wala namang magbabago. Hindi na babalik yung naramdaman ko para sakanya, kasi hindi na siya yung minahal ko noon.

Oo nga. Siguro mali yung pag mag bago yung tao, kesa tanggapin mo, hindi mo na mamahalin. Edi mali ako o.o
Ganun eh. So pano mo naman malalaman kung mahal mo na yung tao? Kung you just became too attached, or infatuated and all that shit.

Isang sign na ba yung dati lahat nasasabi mo sakaniya, kaso ngayon may mga bagay ka ng tinatago kasi hindi pwede. . o.o
Yung, gusto mo gawin yung mga bagay para lang maging masaya siya.
Yung, kulang yung araw mo pag 'di mo siya nakausap.

and all that shit :))

hooray for today! LOL :))

2009-09-16T07:01:00.001-07:00

yey~ was able to finish four articles today. Still have one pending, but I'm thinking of finishing it tomorrow o.o

Today has been a very productive day! Was able to gather Review of Related Lits and Studies at DLSU Lib, which I must commend for being very accomodating! Not only is their library big and jam packed with useful books, it's easy to locate them XD Even the xerox is cheap, and fast. yey for la salle! lol.

i feel so hypurrrr i think im starting to fix the things i left hanging~ :D

this is a very stupid post, sareeeeeee im just hypeeeerrr =))

ReCap :D

2009-09-11T19:02:00.000-07:00

rawr~ I got my much needed break today! But boo me because I still feel guilty. Don't ask why XDD haha. Sooooo, I plan to make the most of my weekend~ and i'll be back to kickin ass on Monday :3

A quick recap of events! I have been quite busy with work for the past few weeks. I've been to four events already o_o

One was the ZX Event: Rise of the Emperor thinger @ SM Manila, where I first exercised my "media rights". I went there about an hour before the program ended (see i have classes during saturdays D:) but still! I met an old friend who now works in PlayGround Magazine, and he introduced me to a lot of people. It was fun, but the most enjoying part was receiving a goodie bag 8D yes i am shallow :> the T-Shirt roxx, but I'll never wear it.

Next was the Audition Event: Launch of the Hottest Gaming Barkada @ SM Manila, where I was both a marshall and a media peep o.o This event was quite different from the former, there were a lot of people until 7pm o_o It was like a big party place, filled with all kinds of people. There were so many celebrities and hot babes. HAHA. The event was tiring but it was extra fun~ After the event, I ate dinner with Ate Abby and Kuya Kiko (PR doods from Dominguez) at Max's. Then I went to Inasal to crash the dinner thinger of my fellow marshalls with EG GMs.

Third was the Runes of Magic Press Launch @ Greenbelt 3. If I weren't assigned to write about it, I wouldn't have attended. The rain was pouring so hard and curse me for wearing that footwear which gave me callouses o_o
Note to self: Don't go to events alone, you might get the urge to text your ex-boyfriend o.o HAHAHA!
The first few instances were boring because I'm not really interested in mingling, I don't feel like talking to other "media" people. Okay, I felt small. All of them were veterans of the craft, I was an amateur and a student. I don't think talking to them would benefit my ego in any way. HAHA. But the event proper was interesting. When you first enter the lobby of the cinema, you'd feel the creepy ambiance of the event brought about by the eerie sound played over and over. The event was hosted by Sam YG, who was very entertaining throughout. They even hired a magician to perform tricks on stage, but boo me because I forgot his name. They discussed how the game works and I must say that I am very interested to try it out o_o Aside from the free grub, the most memorable thing that happened that day is the raffle. It was my first time to win in a raffle, and lucky me because i received an 8gb ipod nano~ 8D

And lastly, the Operation 7 Press Launch @ The Podium. We arrived about five minutes before the call time, after rummaging through the streets of Ortigas looking for that freaking place under the heavy rain. Yeah it's my fault, we could've taken a more convenient path but bless me for loving walking so much. WAHAHA :)) Oh yeah, I brought someone along with me, Stephuu :D The event started at 3PM because there weren't much attendees during the first hour. I guess it was because of the horrible weather, traffic and all o.o The presentation was kind of cramped up, considering the amount of time they have left. Of course, theatrics were never a waste. It was all the more amusing, seeing Sir Franco with those "army men". After the product presentation, there was a merienda thinger located outside the cinema. After eating bread (haha the event was catered by Delifrance. It was delicious, mind you :>), we went back to the cinema for the free screening of the movie "Gamer" by Gerard Butler. It was okay, not uber duber nice.. but okay o.o

Well those are the mag work aspects of my life for the previous weeks that passed. But of course my life does not revolve on that alone. :3 Maybe next time I'll share about other vivid details~ I think that this post is already too long so I'll cut it off na. If there are any mispelled words or grammatical errors, forgive me because I didn't go through the shit that I have written. I did not re-read, I just typed whatever poppped out of my mind. HAHA. RAWR ! :D

2009-09-01T04:13:00.000-07:00

Okay. I don't know why I always say "okay" when I want to vent, but I don't want to. Then later on I'll decide that I would. Okay that was confusing, you shouldn't be reading this in the first place.

I am perplexing, even I confuse myself a lot. So what's the point of posting this anyway -.- I don't even know what to write about! All I know is that I should be doing this, because it would make me feel better somehow. But how the hell am I gonna do that if I don't even know what's bothering me o_o i'm fucked up :)) don't tell me that this is brought about by sleep deprivation for days, nor the surmounting amount of caffeine in my freaking body. Because I've been living this life for the past two years. Come to think of it, I was never normal. LOL.

I don't know. I am tired. I do lack sleep. I haven't been eating properly. I rarely drink water. I don't get enough rest. I'm physically and mentally beat.

Things never get done. Well, I finish one task but there is always a dozen pending. I know I don't have the right to rant about all of this shit because I have brought this upon myself. I could easily lay off all the unnecessary burden and focus in my academics. It's not that I can't.. I won't. I don't want to. Tired as I may be, this virtual world I creep myself into is not as fictional as others would put it.

Okay. After this, there's still a bunch waiting to be fed. And when I get to feed them, more younglings will come. Yeah I know, life is hard and that's just the way it is. But it doesn't mean that I can't rant about it.

I need a break.

random thoughts

2009-08-31T05:45:00.001-07:00

I dreamt of someone for two consecutive days, and it was happy. :)
And when I wake up, I'm left dumbfounded as to why that person was in my dream.

Okaay I don't know what to think ((: It's not really bothering me but I can't stop thinking about it. (ang contradicting XDD) I don't get it o.o I don't know what to think. I don't know what those dreams imply. I wonder if that person would still be with me when I sleep later o.o

humaygas ((:

A Day in a Life

2009-08-10T01:00:00.000-07:00

I haven't been able to update this lately, what with my busy schedule and all.But what the hell, I might as well stop duping myself and get on with the facts.

Okay, I wasn't busy. Atleast not too busy to disregard subtle things such as venting.I should be, but I'm not.

CURRENTLY READING: The Empty House by Algernon Blackwood [Yes I have time to read. I do so before I go to sleep or whenI'm traveling to and fro places, as the book is saved in my phone. Handy :P]

LSS: Mad Season - Matchbox20

CRAVING FOR: Peach Mango Pie D: It should come in big servings u.u

THINGS THAT I SHOULD BOTHER MYSELF WITH:
o Exteel and Audition Virtual Mall Article due TOMORROW for GAME! Magazine's October Issue(600 words per article) - which I haven't even started yet o_o
o SPC Midterm tomorrow (Research - Chapter 1) - I guess I'll just review tomorrow after our Film Writing class.
o Photojourn Midterm on Wednesday - real headache, my notes are still incomplete. How the hell am I gonna study o_o
o Library Hopping 2.0, The Real Search for RRLs
o Film Writing revision of scripts (milieu, character sketch, sequence outline & treatment) - because it was all half-assed and I wanted to make something I could be proud of.
o Radio Tour on Saturday, 10AM at Radio Mindanao Network
o OUR THESIS.

We had our topic consultation for our thesis last Tuesday, a day before Cory's burial. Classes were suspended but ours was exempted because we're way behind schedule. We were grateful that we had four approved topics out of 5 (see it was supposed to be 5, but we immediately negated one option that would prove to be a very sensitive topic) but we weren't aware of the difficulty of the implications it entailed. Well it wasn't that difficult, but we are required to gather RRLs of each approved topics to be passed tomorrow. And because we are "responsible" students, we decided to conduct our Library Hopping 1.0 today.

Our first destination was the National Library located at Manila. Well it was a total disappointment. I don't know if we're just plain ignorant of how to utilize what they have or they're just not as updated as we thought. We were looking for studies related to our topics, and we found nothing. Well we did come across four pages of articles from magazines, but that's not one would expect to have when you're in a freaking large library with so many books.

Because it seemed like a hopeless cause and seeing as it was already lunch time, we decided to go to Recto to hunt for theses conducted by students. You see, theses, dissertations,term papers and the like are for sale in that god forsaken place.

But before heading on with our task, we decided to eat at McDo near UE first. I even accidentally dropped a tray on someone's table o_o I apologized but it was their tray anyway, and they shouldn't have placed it in a narrow ledge where clumsy people (such as yours truly) could move. They accepted my apology and were bound to leave anyway, so technically no harm was done.

After the eating and ranting session, we decided to start our stupefying journey. We searched every corner, encountered so many works but still didn't find anything substantial that would aid our cause. And because I'm a lazy cow, I suggested that we surrender just for this day and make up for our failure on Library Hopping 2.0 which will be conducted on the same week, but with no particular day.

And now I'm off to deal with articles and research and all the shit that this world has to offer. CIAO! :D

Random Thoughts

2009-07-28T05:59:00.000-07:00

Bilib ako sa Presidente natin. Hindi dahil sa pagiging isang mabisang pangulo ng ating bansa, lalo na’t hindi sa mga nagawa niya para sa mamamayang Pilipino.

I mean, no matter how much you hate the person; you just can’t help but admire her for who she is. She is a very strong woman- independent, fierce and driven. Albeit I don’t like her as our President and there have been countless moments that I want her ousted, I still respect her. The mere fact that she had been our President for nine years now is outstanding, after numerous impeachment trials, issues and controversies bombarding her everywhere to throw down the towel. You’ll probably lash back that she is like so because she is power hungry and she loves the authority hence the determinism, but don’t you see, that’s one thing- she really goes for what she wants.

Aside from that, she is smart. She has brains, and oh yes, she’s using it. Probably for her own motives because I never really saw growth in the country as what she boasted in her latest SONA, but it is well laid out that she had been able to go about her way despite the blockades. That every Filipino practically hates her, but at the end of the day- that hate really didn’t surmount to anything cause she’s still the President.

Unlike normal women, she seems undaunted of these emotional perspectives that females tend to apprehend. I’m not generalizing all, but no matter how much you hide it- most women tend to be emotional one way or another. So basically, if you tell someone that she is VERY infamous within the crowd she draws and they all want her down- she will go down. For dignity, for glory. But our little Miss President’s different, she doesn’t seem to care about what you and I think, she does what she sees fit.

I don’t like her but I admire her. Two different things, really. You must think I’m a hypocrite, and if you do, you’re narrow minded. On the other hand, speaking of politics- I’m of legal age now, and I haven’t registered yet. I’m probably waiting for the last day, or maybe- I don’t have plans to vote at all. Though I am interested in politics- as it is a circus of the educated, the selfish and the puppets; I still don’t feel motivated with the progress that’s going on so far. The mere fact that two Presidentiables are LITERALLY campaigning throughout the media is disgusting, desperate and pitiful. I know that other potential candidates are doing their own little agendas out there but the face palming truth these two bring about are just horrendous- imagine thousands of pesos are being allotted for this- instead of being given to poor families if they really want to help. But since I studied PR, I know that this information dissemination tool is vital. Well even if they build 500 schools, how the hell would people know about it without telling them through these ads right? That’s the sad part, the Filipino voters are still shallow at large. I mean, Villar just earned the top spot for the Presidentiable survey- and I think it is brought about by the MAAANY commercials and publicity stunts. And if that’s really the case, oh lord, the Filipinos have yet to open their eyes in scrutinizing potential public figures. Though I really don’t have anyone in mind, trusting politicians basing on what they want us to see, to what they want us to think of them is stupid. They think we’re stupid. And we’re biting it. Come on guys, wake up.

Kumilos naman tayo, maging mapanuri sa mga bagay bagay na nangyayari sa ating paligid. Wag basta magtitiwala sa nakikita at naririnig, mayroon tayong sariling pag iisip- gamitin natin ito.

Rant Number One:

2009-07-24T06:02:00.000-07:00

This day is tiring, spending almost 11hours in school for only two classes- it was disastrous. I can even remember sleeping, eating, and not listening. Though the discussions went inside my brain like food into my mouth, I still found the long hours boring.

And on the way home, traffic was difficult. But I was too tired to make a fuss about stuff, albeit some of the people in the jeep were complaining about the stupid system that the terminal seems to be very fond of.. which is, to bitch around. I just wanted to shut them all up so I could go to sleep, because surely their stupid words won't change a thing- especially if they just converse among themselves without actually confronting those who manage the terminal. Back to the traffic, we spent almost half an hour waiting to be waved in to pass the intersection, it seems that the traffic enforcers were practicing favoritism in a particular lane. To top it all off, the driver dropped us waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay beyond the dropping point. It was exasperating, but I was too tired to even make a big deal out of it.

And here I am, trying to fix my dealios little by little. Even though I'm not in the mood to do them now, I have to. I just have to, I experienced too much read-between-the-line verbal abuse lately and I just have to prove to myself that they're all fucking wrong. Not to them, but to myself. I need that kick.

So to all of you stupid pricks, thank you. And may you all burn in hell with deepest of my love. :)

Flash Videos?:))

2009-07-19T03:01:00.000-07:00

lol. Boring kanina, ang aga ko kasi nagising tapos hindi ko pa feel mag sipag. So ayun, habang kaharap ang PC, triny ko na lang pag aralan ung ibang programs na wala pa kong kaalam alam. At yun ay~ ung Flash Macromedia thinger. 'di ko binasa ung manual like I always do, basta na lang ako nag pindot pindot and stuff. I think it's the program used to make flash videos (malamang) i mean, some of the games na nalalaro ko online na parang gaguhan lang pero cool. So kung titignan, parang mga drawing lang yan ng bata sa paint, na pinagdugtong dugtong gamit ang isang GIF creator. Pero nka AVI yan, at ginawa ko yan keyframe by keyframe (nuks). Haha so it's not worth bragging, pero naaliw parin ako kahit papano kasi wala akong ka creativity creativity. lulz.

Rehashing old memories

2009-07-18T03:32:00.000-07:00

This was our presentation for our Theater Arts class two semesters ago. I was one of the playwrights and I also helped the Production Team.
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“Ano bagang masama umibig? Ano bagang kapuot-puot sa pagiging maligaya ng dalawang taong tunay na nagmamahalan? Ano bagang masama sa pagpapa alipin? Magpa alipin kapalit ang pag-ibig. Lahat naman ng tao’y alipin ng mundo. Alipin ng Pera, nang galit, poot, pag-ibig? Ano bagang masamang mag paalipin sa mundong puno ng alipin?”

Oripun

Hanggang san ka nito dadalhin?

SYNOPSIS [this is the detailed version, I lost a copy of the short one] :

Nagsimula ang lahat sa isang gabing tutukoy sa kapalaran ng dalawang pinaka-makapangyarihang pamilya sa Maranao, ang pamilya ni Rajah Rashid Banocag at Sultan Ismaeli Baladjay. Napagkasunduan ang pag-iisang dibdib ng kanilang mga anak na si Amir at Islani sa layuning panatilihin ang kapangyarihan sa kanilang mga kamay. Sa gabing iyon ay nag handog ng isang salu-salo ang pamilyang Banocag na dinaluhan ng Sultan na sinyales lamang na buo ang loob nila sa kasalan. Masaya ang lahat maliban kay Amir at sa kapatid nitong si Iyana na magkaparehong hindi sangayon sa konseptong pinagkasundo na pag papakasal sa mga maharlikang Muslim. At sa salu-salong ito ay makikita ni Amir ang tao na babago sa kaniyang buhay - si Yusoph, isa sa mga tagapag silbi ng pamilya Banocag. Minsan ay ipinatawag si Amir nang Rajah dahil nais nitong asikasuhin na niya ang lahat ng mga kakailanganin para sa kasal at maghanda na ito sa pagiging Rajah, itinalaga niya ang alilang si Yusoph bilang tagapag-alalay ni Amir sa lahat ng kailangan nitong gawin.

Unang kita pa lamang ni Prinsesa Islani kay Amir ay nagustuhan niya agad ito, pakiwari niya’y inibig na niya si Amir sa unang araw palamang ng kanilang pagkikita. Malugod siya na si Amir ang pinili ng kaniyang magulang na ipakasal sakanya. Ngunit isang araw ay napagod na si Amir, napagod sa pag-papaalipin sa kanyang ama at sa Rajah at sa kasakiman ng mga ito. Pumunta siya sa pinaroroonan nang kanyang ama kasama si Yusoph at ihinayag ang kanyang dinadamdam.

Lubos na ikinagalit ng Sultan ang hinaing ng anak at sinabing wala siyang karapatang mamili ng kaniyang kagustuhan. Nagtangkang pigilan ng alilang si Yusoph ang Sultan sa pananakit kay Amir ngunit walang siyang nagawa. Bilang pasasalamat sa kabutihang ipinakita ni Yusoph ay ninais ni Amir na bigyan ito ng Plawtang kahoy. Ngunit hindi rin ito tinanggap sa dahilang mga plawtang may ganoong yari ay mamahalin at iyon lamang klase na maaaring gamitin ng mahaharlika. Magpapaalam si Yusoph at lalong mamamangha ang anak ng Sultan sa kapurihan ng loob ng alipin.

Naiwan si Amir na nag-iisa, yayakapin ang plawta at doon aaaminin ang nararamdaman niya para kay Yusoph dahil yaon lamang ang nagpakita sa kaniya ng tunay na kabutihan. Pag tapos maamin sa sarili ay ipagbibigay alam niya ito sakanyang malapit ng kapatid na si Iyana. Ipinagtapat nya din niya ito kay Islani at lubos na ikinalungkot ng Prinsesa ang balita. Sinabi nito na hindi maaari na ang dalawang lalake ay umibig sa isa’t isa dahil mahigpit na ipinagbabawal ito ng kanilang tradisyon at relihiyon - sino mang lalabag sa batas ay maaring maharap sa parusang kamatayan. Lingid sa kanilang kaalaman, nakikinig pala si Yusoph sa kanilang usapan. Masisipat ng matalik na kaibigan ng Prinsesa na si Hasmin, ang kaduda-dudang ikinikilos ng alipin. Ng dahil sa lubos na pagmamahal ni Islani kay Amir ay pumayag itong ihinto ang kasal at idadahilan sa Rajah na siya ang nagnanais nito. Umalis ang prinsesa at doo’y magkikita si Amir at Yusoph at magtatapat ng pagmamahal sa isa’t isa.

Ipinagtapat na ni Islani sa kanyang ama ang tunay na pagkatao ng kanyang mapapangasawa. Ito ay nagalit at hindi sumangayon sa planong ihinto ang napagkasunduang piging. Kung hindi niya ito gagawin ay siya mismo ang magpapapatay kay Amir. Labis na nagdalamhati si Prinsesa Islani at maglalabas ito ng sama ng loob sa mga kaibigang serbadora at duon ay malalaman kay Hasmin na nakikinig pala sa kanilang usapan si Yusoph noong gabing iyon. Na maaaring sinabi lamang ni Yusoph na mahal niya si Amir dahil alam na nito na may gusto iyon sa kanya. Nag-plano ang prinsesa kasama ang mga kawal at serbadora na ipadala si Yaser, ang matalik na kaibigan ni Yusoph sa kwarto nito at paaminin ito sa tunay na hangarin.

Nagalit ang Prinsesa sa natuklasan; agad agaran niyang ikinunsulta sa mga magulang na kanyang ipadadakip si Yusoph dahil sa paglabag nito sa tradisyon, na may gusto it kay Amir at kailangang parusahan. Dito rin niya sinabi na nais na niyang matuloy ang kasal kinabukasan din. Pumaroon si Amir sa bahay ng Sultan ngunit imbis na sa Prinsesa makipag-usap ay dumeretso ito kay Yusoph. Niyaya niya itong tumakas na lamang at siya na ang bahala sa kanilang mga pangangailangan. Pumayag naman ito sa plano ni Amir. Uuwi na sana ito para maghanda sa kanilang pagtakas ngunit nakasalubong niya ang mga kawal na pumasok sa silid ng kanyang iniibig. Nakita niya itong dinakip at nag tangkang pigilan ang mga kawal. Ngunit wala siyang nagawa dahil ito habilin ng mahal na Rajah. Pinayuhan na lamang nila si Amir na magtungo sa sala at mamamataan duon ang buong pamilyang Banocag at Baladjay.

Umiiyak na nagtungo si Amir sa Sala. Agad-agad siyang niyakap ng kanyang kapatid ngunit kinamuhian ng kanyang ama sa nakakahiya nitong itsura, nilapitan niya ito at sinampal. Bago pa man muling masaktan ng Sultan ang anak ay nagsalita na si Prinsesa Islani, sinabi sa Rajah na pigilan ang Sultan at sa halip ay sabihin na nila ang kanilang plano. Lumapit ang Prinsesa kay Amir at humihikbing sinabi dito na ituloy na ang kanilang pag papakasal at ng hindi na siya ipapatay ng Sultan at Rajah. Sumangayon si Amir ngunit kundisyon na palayain si Yusoph. Kinaumagahan din ay ikinasal ang dalawa, natupad ang napag-usapan. Habang sila ay ikinakasal ay naroroon si Yusoph na bantay ng mga kawal. Umiiyak na sinabi ni Islani at Amir ang kanilang binitiwang pangako sa isa’t-isa. Matapos ang kasal ay sumenyas si Prinsesa Islani sa mga kawal. Lalapit siya dito at sasabihing pagkaalis nila ni Amir ay isasakatuparan na ang plano.

Umalis na ang lahat at natira na lamang ang mga kawal at si Yusoph. Naglabas nang sundang ang isang kawal at nag akmang papatayin si Yusoph ngunit ito’y nagmakaawa para sa kaniyang buhay. Lumambot ang puso ng kawal at sana’y patatakasin ito ngunit biglang ibinaon ng isang sa kanila ang kaniyang sundang sa likuran ni bihag. Ikinamatay nya ito.

Unang gabi nina Prinsesa islanie at Amir sa kwarto. Niyayakap-yakap ng Prinsesa si Amir, ngunit pilit itong lumalayo. Itinanong nito kung nasaan si Yusoph at nais niya itong Makita. Nagmakaawa siya sa Prinsesa ngunit nagalit ito at sinabi na ipinapatay na niya ang taksil na alipin. Sinabi ni Islani ang tunay na hangarin ni Yusoph kay Amir. Kinamuhian niya ang prinsesa at sinabing sinasabi lamang niya ito dahil gusto niyang matuloy ang kasalan natunay siyang minamahal ni Yusoph. Lalong nagalit ang Prinsesa, Ulit-ulit na sinasabi ng prinsesa na pinapatay na niya ang aliping Taksil, Ulit-ulit niya itong tinatawag na Taksil. hindi na nakapagtimpi pa si Amir, kumuha ito nang sundang at winaksan ang buhay ni Prinsesa Islani. Nagsisigaw siya sa poot; umiiyak ito habang isinisiwalat ang kanyang damdamin. Biglang papasok ang mga Kawal at siya’y dadakipin. Pumapalag siya ngunit wala ng magawa.

-END-

[will not post the whole script, too lengthy.]

Trailer:

to follow. [http://bmctheaterplm.multiply.com/video/item/21/Oripun_Trailer_]

Directors:

[forgot their names o_o to follow]

Playwrights:

Anne Margareth Chavez, Melissa Silvestre, Carol Rehvin Soriano,

Mario Carlo Miguel Roque, Luciano Arnel Paez, Randy Vigilla, Paul Dominique Tejada

Cast:

Production Team:

[lost track of the pictures and list of the production team, sorry D:<]

copyright: 5per15 Productions - BMC III-III PLM CMC

Synopsis by Anne Margareth Chavez, Melissa Silvestre

Trailer by Melissa Silvestre

Posters by Patricia Dominique Parado

the 18th of July :)

2009-07-18T02:55:00.000-07:00

Okaaay. So I wasn't able to do everything that I have planned out for today, but it was okay.

The other day, I've posted how undecided I am whether I should audition for the Grand Prix or not. This afternoon, I did. Though I was still unsure of what it entails, I went for it. Just for the sake of trying, and so I won't feel emo afterwards- thinking of the opportunity that passed. And I didn't make it. For some reason, I was so nervous and I buckled, stuttered, and ate my words. See I'm not usually like that, I've always been able to carry myself in some sort of degree of confidence, especially in speech. But what happened awhile ago, was totally different. And I didn't feel bad :)) I don't know why, but I'm really not expecting that I would pass. And the time I spent there waiting was spent well too :>

haha. so after two years of admiration from afar, i finally had the chance to talk to my happy-crush for hours. :3 he made so much sense! the hours passed and it was far from boring~ he was fun and flawed and cool and pogi and all. LOL. I also had the chance to tell him about how much I hated him when we were in 2nd year, because of his attitude. But now I've come to understand him- which made things more cool :)) but i stress on this part, I just like him. like as in like, walang bahid ng love or any malicious chever that a normal person would think. i mean, he's faaaar in the there. And i'm heeeere. ganun kalayo, so wag ng isipin. Today was a winner. yipee :)

oh oh! there was also this instance when my friend (who was with me) asked "him" of what was his first impression of me. Tahimik daw and out of this world. NICE =))

Trippings. :3

2009-07-16T04:10:00.000-07:00

haha. Second post for the day, I just had to put this here =)) I took a test on FB out of boredom, entitled "What do Your Eyes Say About You?" and here's the result:

Innocence.When people look into your eyes, they see pure innocence. Your eyes sparkle and you like to flaunt them, and often use them to manipulate people. You're a kind-hearted and intellectual person that loves being loved and getting attention, but others don't see that you can sometimes be defensive and aggressive when you don't get your way. You're really not as innocent as some people think!

My opinion: My eyes do not sparkle, and I never flaunted them because they're just eyes o_o I never used them to manipulate people too, I haven't mastered "The Look". lulz. Kind-hearted?>:) Intellectual?o.o I love being loved but I don't like getting too much attention- especially unwanted ones o.o

Though the last part hit jackpot. COOL :))

and another one- "How many times will you fall inlove before you marry?"

3 times. You are sentimental and a little gullible. When you think your really in love they end it or cheat on you because you are not enough. Right now you are a little paranoid because of your first true relationship, but that will pass.

My opinion: Mali pa oh, it's supposed to be "you're" instead of "your". lulz. And correction, I'm not paranoid about anything love related, especially the first one o_o

Random: The first one was my first (malamang, 1st year HS :3), the second lasted for two years- ended two years ago, the third one is now. o_o LOL =)) assuming :))

and the last one- I took two tests. One named "What's your Maturity Level?" and "How Old do you Act?"

I act like I'm: 12
I have the Maturity-Level of a 12 year-old

The results are similar! o_o weiiiird.
-----------------------------------------
On a side note: I'll be going off line soon. What amazed me is that people seem to be commenting on my YM status out of the blue. Pure randomness.

RANDOM PERSON: NO! YOUR NOT EVIL... YOUR ACTUALLY GOOD! WHO SAID YOU THAT? WHO EVER TOLD YOU THAT... HE'S EVIL! HAHAHA...

RADNOM PERSON: SYEMPRE WERE FRIENDS... MALAY KO BANG SUPER EMO KA JAN! AT MAGLASLAS KA BIGLA... SYEMPRE COMFORT NA KITA... HAHAHA

RANDOM PERSON:di a

La la la~

2009-07-16T02:24:00.000-07:00

I first heard this song in the movie Austin Powers, though I'm not sure which o.o I think its when he was with that blonde girl with round eyes, the thinger when he lost his almighty mojo.

Well anyway, the song is very nice. Albeit I wasn't heartbroken that time, I liked it a lot. I heard it again today, while working my way through traffic and I thought that it would be nice to post it here.

For all the lovelorns out there, for all those who are tired of loving~ :3
Oh yeah, I'm not sure of the title and the one who sung it. So I'll just provide the lyrics. lmao.

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What do you get when you fall in love?
A guy with a pin to burst your bubble
That's what you get for all your trouble.

I'll never fall in love again.
I'll never fall in love again.

What do you get when you kiss a guy?
You get enough germs to catch pneumonia.
After you do, he'll never phone you.

I'll never fall in love again.
I'll never fall in love again.

Don't tell me what it's all about,
'Cause I've been there and I'm glad I'm out,
Out of those chains, those chains that bind you
That's why I'm here to remind you

What do you get when you fall in love?
You get enough tears to fill an ocean
That's what you get for your devotion.

I'll never fall in love again.
I'll never fall in love again.

What do you get when you fall in love?
You only get lies and pain and sorrow.
So, for at least until tomorrow,

I'll never fall in love again.
I'll never fall in love again.

Don't tell me what it's all about
`Cause I've been there and I'm glad I'm out
Out of those chains, those chains that bind you
That is why I'm here to remind you.

I'll never fall in love again.
I'll never fall in love again.

Clannad Fever, I'm infected!

2009-07-15T04:58:00.000-07:00

Anime Review: GAME! September 2009 issue

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Buíoch as cara is clann (Appreciating friends and family)
The wonderful world of Clannad
By Melissa Silvestre

“You rolling thunder.... KAH!” – Sunohara.

A statement so random, it becomes epic. Whatever he meant- if thunder does roll, we’ll never know. That is one of the lines that you’ll encounter in this supposed anime filled with drama, inspired by love and driven by comical antics as such.

Clannad is a romantic comedy produced by Kyoto Animation, an acclaimed animation studio which boasts amazing works; such as, The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi and Lucky Star. It was among the adaptations from a visual novel by Key, following Kanon and Air.

What started out as a game, evolved into an anime series that run for two seasons, a movie and even a PS2 game. Though most of you may frown at its genre, I say it’s still worth checking out. I’m not a big fan of Love and Drama combined, but the anime is like a roller coaster of emotions that will keep you hanging in your seats- you’ll laugh, frown and cry, but surely you’ll be entertained.

Clannad has an appeal of deviating from the stereotypical. To be quite honest, I’m tired of the same old cliché where the lead character takes all the glory, gets all the girls and solves all the world’s problems. Here, the main character isn’t the one who solves all the problems on his own. Though he does play a vital role, it’s either another character who ends up saving the damsel in distress, or the combination of all the characters altogether. The synergy of their friendship is quite astounding.

This particular anime is not like most mainstream harems. The usual two or more girls (in this case, five) go ga ga over the protagonist and almost every female character falls in love with the main character at one point or another. Coincidentally, things don’t always work out between the two, which causes break ups. What’s interesting is each of these girls has their own peculiar personality and seeing it evolve throughout the story will keep your eyes peeled for more. And for a drama- it’s unbelievably funny.

Clannad follows the life of Okazaki Tomoya and the people around him. The first episode introduces you to the lead character, narrating how miserable his life is. He studies at a local high school and often skips class with his hilarious partner-in-crime Sunohara Youhei.

The story then focuses on Tomoya and Nagisa, the two runs on each other on the way to school, which jumpstarts their extraordinary tale. Along the way, they hang out with interesting characters from school such as the school representative twins, a genius who desperately wants to play the violin and an ex-fighter who beats up delinquents.

Though some claim that KyoAni wasn’t able to capture each of the character’s arc completely, that they could have given more details and fuller stories of each of the characters, instead of being sub-plots to the Tomoya – Nagisa tandem.

The graphics, as expected, is exceptional. The music helped a lot in developing the emotions of the characters and in building the mood of a particular scene. While the anime also has its flaws, there are elements that have been carried out exceptionally well. Albeit the drama is not as intense as the previous visual novel adaptations, the continuous character development that the two leads go through makes up for it.

If you’re tired of complicated sword fights and incessant battle-oriented animes, then this one might just do you good. Clannad is a good and meaningful watch, asserting the significance of having friends and family. If you’re looking for something different from the traditional, be moved and at the same time laugh, then better try this out. You never know, those tissues might be handy.

The characters:

Okazaki Tomoya – The male protagonist, considered as a delinquent. His mom died in a car accident when he was young and had been living with his drunkard father who argues with him almost all the time.

Nagisa Furukawa – the main heroine. A year older than Tomoya, she had to repeat her junior year after a mysterious illness that lasted for nine months. She dreams of joining the drama club, but after learning that it was disbanded, she aimed to re-establish it. She tends to mutter the names of food that she wants to eat and she also likes a group mascot known as "Dango Daikazoku”.

Sunohara Youhei - a comic relief, who almost always get disciplined by others due to his antics. Also a delinquent, he is the only student with a higher absence rate than Tomoya. He and Tomoya are known as the "Dirty Pair" in school.

Fujibayashi Kyou - is an aggressive girl who is good in cooking. She is the older twin sister of Ryou and is the class representative of her class. She throws dictionaries towards anyone she’s infuriated with.

Fujibayashi Ryou - is Tomoya's classmate and also a class representative. She is enthusiastic about fortune telling, but her predictions aren’t really accurate.

Ichinose Kotomi - A very quiet girl. She is in the top ten for every subject throughout the whole country and wants to play the violin, though she’s not any good at it.

Sakagami Tomoyo - She is believed to be very violent and possesses a misconduct record for fighting.

Acknowledgements:

Althaea di Fergion

Quaversie

Fine, I'll Be Responsible

2009-07-14T03:58:00.000-07:00

Breathe in, breathe out.
I feel anxious. My heart is not at peace. I need to let this out.

I feel as if I'm commiting more mistakes by taking on so much responsibilities- and here I am, proving to myself that I'm a worthwhile bum. Though people would always commend me for delivering a job well done despite the procrastination, I have this gut feeling that I won't be able to surpass this hole I delibrately entered by doing just that.

Okay, so I accepted a job offered to me awhile ago. Since I really have no big league organizations at school (I mean, I have this tendency to be aloof at extra-curricular activities to enjoy being a lazy toad my whole college life), I surprisingly said yes when asked if I wanted to be the committee head for the Star Committee (Yes, don't laugh. I wonder if the other committees are named Crescent, Heart.. or something. I mean, I should know- but i forgot >:3). Kidding aside, so there. I took on the responsibility of spearheading the activities department of the PRSSP or the Public Relations Student Society of the Philippines - PLM Chapter. I always loved PR, the tedious work it instilled on me last sem was stupendous.

Aside from that, there would be an audition for the Grand Prix participants on Monday. Some of my friends, even some of the alumni, told me to try it out. I got nothing to lose and if ever I do get in, it would be an honor to represent the university for the next contest. The problem is, the training for the said competition would be very time consuming- if I ever get accepted. I wanted to join the group ever since I was in 2nd year college, and now here's my chance. It's my last year in college, it's now or never. But I'm still undecided, my heart is breaking me. I asked my mother if I should try, and she told me the same question I've been asking myself all this time "Kaya mo ba?".

GAH. I have so much responsibilities now, and I can't drop any of them because I love doing all of them. Most importantly, I can't neglect my school work u_u

KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL D:<

To all of you, Life-Draining Leeches

2009-07-12T02:52:00.000-07:00

I hate it when people expect too much from me.
When they expect me to be there- always, when they need me.
When they expect me to understand them because they are who they are.
When they expect me to drop whatever I'm doing just to help them.

I guess this is a sign that I'm loving myself more.I've become aware of my own space, my own time- and why people shouldn't just barge in, asking for a piece of me.
I'm not saying that I don't like to help out, that I don't care.I do, I just hope that they consider that I have my own problems too.
That there are also things that I have to deal with, that my life is not a cake walk.
They have to realize that the world does not revolve around them, and they're not the only ones with dilemmas.

You must think I'm evil, selfish. Because I, for one, have always been reliant to people of whom I confide with the deepest of my scars.
That at times, I also demand people the attention I THINK I deserve.
And I know that I'm not perfect, I never was and I never planned to be. I'm also human for god's sake, I cry when I'm sad and I laugh when I find something funny.

I'm fine with the way I am, lazy and prejudiced- you don't have to throw me to places just so I could feel good about myself.

I'm capable of doing things on my own and I don't like being used.

Pop Goes the Weasel

2009-07-10T00:50:00.000-07:00

Here's the crammed up summary of my "supposed" script for our Film Writing Class under Sir Jonah Lim. I really didn't think it through so revisions may follow, just did this so that I would be able to pass something that day @_@

For some weird reason, it was accepted as one of the Top 5 scripts to be written as a full length screen play for our class.

Genre: Drama
Title: No tentative title yet

The story is about a ”kanto guy” in his 20s, who spends his usual day drinking beer with tambays at the street. He lives in a squatter’s area somewhere in Manila, after leaving home at the age of 16, triggered by witnessing years of abuse and emotional scarring from his father.

His father, who treated him and his other siblings like slaves to fend off for his vices. He didn’t want to go at first because he was afraid to leave his mother, who only tried to make the best out of their situation even if she has to suffer every night being treated like a sex object and a worthless trash by her husband.

This was what he had always seen and it formed a habit out of him. No matter how much he hated his father, he had grown accustomed of forcing women to submit to him in order to feel satisfaction. He never felt pleasure just by having willing sex with women, so he sought for the thrill. He had developed a fetish of stalking women for a week or so, some time at night and raping them afterwards. He always chose those he thought he would be safe to harass, like prostitutes or vagrants.

He then eyes his next victim in a form of a club girl. He had stalked her for a week and one night, he prowled at her and raped her on her way home. When he’s done, he would always steal whatever money that’s left in the purse of his victim.

Upon scanning through her bag, he found lots of medicines. After the incident, he felt sick. He traced back to his last victim and thought that he had been infected. He decided to visit the nearest health center, only to find out he has HIV.

After much pondering, he thought it best to go back home to confront his father, who ruined his life even when he left their home because it was he who imposed anger in him. He wanted to talk to his mother and his siblings, whom he left to be better, only to turn out worse. He didn’t want this kind of life but he was forced to, in some way, it was the only thing that made him feel alive. And soon it would be over, and he didn’t want to hurt anyone anymore.

When he got home, he found out that his dad died a year ago, due to complications with his heart. His mom was still there, with his brothers and sisters. He wanted to release all of his repressed feelings but his dad’s gone, there was no one to blame but himself. He decided to visit his grave, located beside their house and said everything he had ever wanted to tell him. He cursed him and called him the worst father there could ever be, but in the end, he forgave him. For the first time in his life, he felt peaceful. He then decided to spend a normal day with his family before submitting himself to prison. He decided that he wanted to die there, to save his mom from the problems of his death and to make amends for the girls he had abused.

- M

EDIT ME! D:<

2009-07-03T03:21:00.000-07:00

An article submitted for GAME! magazine August 2009 Issue, under Hinge Inquirer Publications.

Delving Deep into Natha
A Rookie’s Guide in playing Exteel
By Melissa Silvestre

After introducing Exteel’s overview on our May issue, we now came up with a guide that would help new players or rookies to get through the game.

As we all know, Exteel is a game of persistency wherein you pawn other Mechanaughts to rise through the ranks. There are no quests or missions to complete in order to level up because it is a shooter game, so we would just supply you with tips that could get you up and running.

WEAPONRY

It is normal for beginners to wonder what type of weapons to choose when playing the game in real time, away from the tutorial mode. Though each stage will teach you how to use each armament appropriately, it’s still not that easy to apply when you’re in a room filled with players more experienced than you are. First, think of what kind of combatant you want your Mech to be, as there is a wide array of weapons to choose from.

Once you’ve already decided, pick a set of weapons you’ve acquired upon finishing the tutorial modes. Veterans of the game suggest that new players should accustom themselves first with the tutorial weapons. These are good for fighting newbies and amateur players alike, because their Mechanaughts are still not that enhanced compared to the higher levels. It is best to use them until Level 10 before upgrading to a better set of weaponry which can be bought by Credits or iCoins.

Weapons consist of four categories:
Melee series - Swords and Spears.
Range series - SMG, Shotguns and Rifles.
Siege series - Cannons.
Rocket series - Rockets.

Weapon EXP is earned per hit. Which means that when you slash with a sword, you will gain Melee EXP. Same goes when shooting using a rifle for Range EXP. Obtaining weapon experience allows you to unlock certain abilities like damage increase, fire rate increase, etc.

PILOT POINTS

This is one of the things that players shouldn’t disregard. Increasing your stats will help you get your A game on the battlefield.

Pilot points have five categories which are the HP, ENERGY, SPEED, SCAN and MARKSMANSHIP.

The HP stat is the maximum health of your Mech.

The Energy is used for switching weapons, using boosters and jumping. These are advisable to upgrade for heavy weight Mechs because they consume more energy than other Mechs.

The Movement Speed increases the Mech’s pace when walking and using boosters.

The Scan is to increase one’s radar so you could easily detect where the enemies are in the map.

The Marksmanship increases one’s aim and also adds bonus to make critical hits when using melee weapons.

The question now, is which attribute should you raise first? It has always been believed that Marksmanship is always the first pilot stat to max, because it would increase your chances of getting critical hits when using Melee and the probability to hit when using a Ranged weapon.

Next is the HP stat, because the longer you survive in the battlefield, the better. Followed by Energy, Movement Speed and then Scan Range. So why leave out scan? Because it’s not that difficult to locate the enemies in the map, which proves this attribute to be the least useful in game. So you might as well allocate your pilot points to stats in which you would use, like the first four.

EQUIPMENT

There are three types of builds for Mechanaughts: the Heavy, the Standard, and the Light type. In order to help you choose what type of build to go for, let’s briefly discuss the PROs and CONs of each.

Heavy Mechs are the beefy ones, they have good Defense because they’re colossal and they have a higher HP compared to others. But because of their massiveness, it causes their speed to slow down and they consume a lot of energy when boosting, switching weapons or jumping.

The Standard type is the average. It’s pretty well balanced because it doesn’t tread along the extremes of the heavy and the speed type. It doesn’t have any specialization in particular, like a tougher defense or a faster Mech.

The Light type is also called the Speed type. They consume less energy but have a bad defense and most light Mech parts have low HP.

But keep in mind that there’s no bias in withstanding damage. Whatever type of build you may choose, they all receive the same amount of injury.

SKILL POINTS

Skills are the next best thing to traditional shooting and slashing because it allows you to deal greater damage. The number of skills you can equip is dependent on your helm’s MPU or Mechanaught Processing Unit and weapon specifications.

There are two types of skills, the Single Target and the Area of Effect. It is best for rookies to try out the latter. Because aiming for a skill can be a pretty rough task, you have to lock on an enemy until the reticle turns red before you can hit them. While the AoE just needs to be activated in order to deal damage to those who are near you.

So how do you use skills? Every skill has a specific Skill Point or SP requirement which you accumulate when hitting or getting hit. When you get the SP requirement for a particular skill, the once grayish icon will be saturated; a sign which means that the skill is ready to be used in combat.

BATTLING TECHNIQUES

The basic battling techniques are the usual shoot and kill for guns and the hack and slash for swords. The advanced techniques are dragooning, sniping, stunner and support.

Sniping is the art of using siege weapons such as cannons, whereas dragooning is the skill in which you jump and attack the enemy in mid-air using a spear. Support is when you use Mecha Healers to help allies in battle.

TIPS

One thing that rookies have to know is the fastest way to gain experience- and that is by playing the Last Stand mode. The Last Stand is the only mode in which you could fight with AIs, where players fight as a team against a horde of drones. They appear in large groups and are set to capture your aerogates.

The best weapon to use is the Rocket Launcher, because it has splash damage and you could just blast the drone in groups instead of locking on each of them one by one. It’s better to defend the gate from within the circle and kill the enemies that are stepping on the blue spot first. Because when the enemies step in, the aerogate’s life will be damaged. Remember that the less damage your base has, the more points you will get.

A typical Last Stand mode usually comprises a team with 8 players. There are usually 6 defenders, equipped with rocket launchers who guard the base; a hunter, whose job is to look for saboteurs scattered around the map, and a base destroyer who have cannon and melee weapons equipped.

But technically, those are just suggestions and the game still lies on the team’s own technique. Try not to get killed or at least lessen your deaths because it would decrease the amount of points you will get. The game ends when the time is up or when you lose a gate to the enemy drones.

These are just a few tips that could help you progress through the game. Remember that the skill needed can be acquired through practice and don’t depend too much on your weapons or equipments.

Acknowledgements:
Hellios
Coffee

The First of Many

2009-07-01T03:14:00.000-07:00

Its time.

Yeah, I'll be posting here thoughts that run through my brain. Those of which I can't usher the strength to bother people with simply because, it's shallow, it's stupid and it's just me.

A lot of things are going through my mind lately- mixed emotions, unmet expectations, unattainable wishes and frivolous hopes.

I have a lot of assignments due tomorrow and I have no classes today. Now could have been the perfect time to do them, but I'm too preoccupied to even think about it. I didn't forget, its just that whenever I summon myself to start- my mind pushes it back to one corner of my brain, as if telling me that there are more important things to ponder.

For weeks now, I've been telling myself that I have to fix myself, my life. It's not really disastrous nor demented, I just need the right set of mind and the will to succumb myself to school work sans this lazy attitude.

It's a wonder, really, how I am fully aware that I have tons of work to do (three articles, three outlines, a news program script, an infomercial script and creative report) and yet, here I am, just thinking about you.

But no, I'm not depressed. I'm still tattling along the lines of letting go or holding on- but not in a very dramatic and sentimental way. Its just that if I chose the former, I wouldn't have a need to deal with love and all its crazy antics- somehow I miss being single.. the feeling of happiness, and yet you feel incomplete. But why the hell would I, I'm not despondent. The situation in what we are right now is quite familiar, which is kind of a good thing as it doesn't make me as desperate as I was back then. I could say that I've grown mature, even by just a little percent - because I am now able to view things in another perspective.

Holding on, yes. Instead of demanding much and viewing the scenario as life gone wrong, why not take it as an opportunity- besides, I still have things to do, responsibilities I have to live up to. And I thought, he just entered a new world- why not let him feel and enjoy it? Why do I always have to be the star; we're still young and we have a lot of time left in this world. As long as he's within my reach, I'm happy. Not bliss, and not pretend-happy. But the kind that you feel in your heart whenever he texts, albeit once in a while- which makes you think that you really love the person. Despite the changes, the bullshit and all the works- you're still in love.

I do love the idea of us, I've always imagined it two years back.

I do love him. Because he is the way he is, and he's different from others.He's flawed, he's insensitive and dense, but I love him.

Because he can be so much more, he's proven that to me quite well. And we're still young and we still have a lot to learn.

And maybe after saying all of this, after being able to post this without re-reading the whole context out of fear to be subjected to ignorance of grammar or spelling, after having been able to lay out what I feel in a world I know, but will not know me, I am happy.

Maybe now I can start, maybe now I will.

- M

Animato

2009-06-26T01:29:00.000-07:00

Just for starters, I'll be posting a song for my first blog. If you'll notice, I patterned my blog's title and URL after this song. It is by Utada Hikaru from her album Exodus.

Animato - Utada Hikaru

[LYRICS]

Somebody out there better get this
Not many people can do it like this
How about some speakers to amplify me
How about a rhyme to fortify me
Life’s messy so I clarify it
Simplifying things for everybody

I need someone who’s true
Someone who does the laundry too
So what you gonna do
Please don’t forget to follow through
I take my diamond shoes
Someone who tries to be on time
Do what you said you’d do
I hope you like to follow through

All that I need’s a bit of practice
My mind is set, I’ll make a business
This is not a time for reminiscing
This is something new and interesting
Why are you trying to classify it
This is music for all humanity, from me

Dreaming of hip hop tunes
They say you’ve got the proper tune

So what you gonna do
Keep doing things the way you do
I take my diamond shoes
Someone who tries to be on time
Do what you came to do
I came to see you follow through

I need someone who’s true
Someone who does the laundry too
So what you gonna do
Please don’t forget to follow through
I take my diamond shoes
Someone who tries to be on time
Do what you said you’d do
I hope you like to follow through

DVDs of Elvis Presley
BBC sessions of Led Zepplin
Singing along F. Mercury
Wishing he was still performing

DVDs of Elvis Presley
BBC sessions of Led Zepplin
Singing along to F. Mercury
Singing along to F. Mercury

DVDs of Elvis Presley
BBC sessions of Led Zepplin
Singing along F. Mercury
Wishing he was still performing

DVDs of Elvis Presley
BBC sessions of Led Zepplin
Singing along to F. Mercury
Singing along to F. Mercury

DVDs of Elvis Presley
BBC sessions of Led Zepplin
Singing along F. Mercury
Wishing he was still performing

DVDs of Elvis Presley
BBC sessions of Led Zepplin
Singing along to F. Mercury
Wishing he was still performing